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SUV. It's an acronym that has many connotations. Over the past years America has been taken in by the fad of big, oversized trucks known as suburban cruisers suitable for picking up the kids or getting the groceries. These behemoths are oversized top-heavy gas guzzlers, and they are infesting our neighborhoods and highways.

  
       Sitting upon a small Honda moped that goes 27 mph downhill with two people, I found myself at the intersection of West Point and Packerland. A small two-cycle engine putts away, emitting little puffs of blue smoke from the exhaust pipe. A few moments after I come to a stop, I turn my head just in time to see an oversized side-view mirror scream past me at head level. In the next lane a shiny new Ford Expedition has screeched to a halt. I note the oversized tires that are level with my shoulders as I sit upon the tiny contraption. Ridiculous brush guards imposingly poke out from the grille, staring me down. Chrome bumpers the size of steel beam are bolted on the front and rear, daring any vehicle around to get too close.  
       "I bet they could run me over and not even feel it," I think to myself.  
       The agonizingly slow light changes from red to green and I give the 'ped all she's got to get her rolling. As I begin to slowly pull out of the light, I glance in my apple sized side-views. What do I see? An overdeveloped chrome bumper attached to another SUV two inches from the basket on the back of the 'ped. Apparently, a lowly moped with some punk teenager isn't high on the road hazards list, for I was about to become an obstacle, much like in the television ads for SUV's, only I was no snowdrift, I was a human.  
       It was of no matter. After impatiently attempting to "push" me to go faster, the massive signal flashed about head level and the monster rumbled past, leaving a blacker air and one jumpy kid on a moped.  
       So what is the fascination with "Sport Utility Vehicles"? Some argue that they are safer, and that they are buying the vehicle to make their family safe. Some say that they like the four-wheel capability, in case they need it in the winter. Some maintain that they like the towing capability coupled with interior comforts. Are you serious? SUV's are, in my opinion, the worst vehicle one can get, and for many reasons. SUV's, while keeping their passengers relatively safe, are a menace to all other non-SUV owning citizens. Compact cars are masticated in low-speed accidents, and many fatalities occur due to collisions with oversized trucks masquerading as "minivans."  
       A recent periodical gave a statistic that said 98% of all SUV's never go off the road. In winter, rarely do roads become impassible, and when they do, the roads do not remain so for very long. As every person of school age can attest, city snow removal crews are very efficient, and on very few occasions are the roads snowed in to the point that normal vehicles cannot traverse them. In addition, as hard as it may seem to believe, outside of the northern stretches of the United States, SUV's are just as if not more popular. Therefore, winter safety as a justification does not hold up, seeing as how a majority of the country experiences milder winter conditions.  
       And while we're on the topic how many people really need to have the capability to tow a small house through the Rocky Mountains? I'd venture to say even less than the number who need winter traction. Rarely does the normal citizen have to tow anything that a Dodge Caravan couldn't handle, yet every model SUV has several expensive towing options that involve heavy duty transmissions and reinforced bumper assemblies. To have the option "just because" seems to indicate that there is a less glamorous reason that SUV's are extremely popular right now.  
       This leads into what I feel is the real reason: conspicuous consumption. People buy these things because it is a symbol of status. Just as in the heyday of the muscle car, America has become fascinated with the off-road cruiser. People compete with one another to have the biggest, shiniest SUV with the highest chrome to bumper ratio. In a time when concerns about vehicle emissions and oil reserves are at their highest, I find it ironic that a few flashy ads and a fad can sell so many people. Even in the light of all of the negative aspects of the vehicles, people are overwhelmed with the fad, and use the afore mentioned justifications and more to justify their more recent purchase.  
       It is this fad that in turn encourages the car companies to continue to feed the fire. Every model year a new SUV is rolled out in some Detroit auto show, sporting bigger and more expensive features. An example is the new Ford Excursion. This monster doesn't fit in the average garage, and is bigger than even the infamous Chevy Suburban, or "Burb". When will this end? How many people are going to waste their money on cars that, in a few years, will be so overproduces, so numerous on used car lots, that one will be able to buy a fleet of them for mere pocket change? I wonder why, but then I am forgetting that the real value of one of these things in many people's eyes is the value of status; to be able to scream up to little scrubs on mopeds. It's all about social status, and everybody knows it, they just won't admit it.  
 

 

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